Away from the numbers

That Jam song keeps running through my head. I need to break away from certain people in my life. I am tired of abuse, abandonment, lies, and admonishment. I'm just tired of THEM.

It's a hard decision, but I need my sanity more than I need certain individuals in my life. Change is never easy, but neither is facing the facts: they don't love me, never will. I am their "inconvenient truth", if you will.

It's time. "So, this link's breaking away from the chain . . ."

Oh, the rib-bone's connected to the deck rail . . .

Yeah. Sounds funny. Feels 'not so funny'.

Monday, Philip, the obnoxious one at left, ran outside. He's an inside cat. My good doggy girls herded him (they both have herding breeds in them) at the back of the deck. I went to pick him up over the deck rail, and suddenly - WHAM! Flat on my face. The deck rail let go (it was all one piece across the deck - 15 feet across - held on with twelve screws??? the yard looks nicer without it anyway!), and I was down for the count. Luckily, Philip was not harmed - stunt kitty that he is! The lattice work landed around him. It was as if we set it up!

It goes to prove two things to me:

1. shitty craftsmanship that looks nice is still shitty


2. don't try this at home - it hurts. While I'm sure it was a 'AFHV' moment, it will haunt me for days!

Injuries - 4 inch gash on right shin, big chunk out of right shin, pretty bruised ribcage, sore shoulders, sore back, and slightly sprained right wrist. I'm a little out of commission for a couple days.

I think the universe is trying to tell me something. What could it be? I'm thinking either - Philip should be medicated, don't trust a railing built by the previous owner's idiot brother, or lose some more damn weight already!

Or, maybe just "slow down"? These are the best of times. Enjoy ~

Getting the balance right

That's me. Less than three years ago. Where has this person gone?

I feel so unlike myself lately. I thought not working for a few weeks would make so much less stress in my life, but instead I find, with more time on my hands, I focus on all the stressful situations until I'm paralyzed by them.

Case in point: the house. YES, our bid was accepted! Hooray! So, the inspector goes out on Tuesday. VERY bad news about the roof and moderately bad news about situations in the basement. Sigh. It's to the point where I'm losing sleep.

Or, the fact that my family is not able to come to Tim's residency graduation. True, it's only a speech at a formal dinner - it's not like it's a pomp & circumstance stage walk. (That would actually look pretty dumb with only two graduates.) BUT, the department head wouldn't budge when we explained my mother's crippling fear of heights and how a bridge into Kentucky AND the 19th floor of a building wouldn't work. I would have thought 6 months was long enough to change things. He claims it wasn't (I could have made 5 phone calls . . . ). AND, didn't even give the two graduates the courtesy of input into where they have it.

Now, today, I find my mother-in-law also has a fear of heights. Go figure.

Sigh. I am not loving this week. And, now, I have to face this idiot tomorrow at a picnic. Joy.

Seriously, why can't things JUST be easy?

Strange days indeed! (most peculiar, Momma)

+

=

Yes, Joey is going to be huge. I think we just realized her immensity when we saw a 100% OES at the dog park today!

I completed the fast for Darfur. That was a challenge! I am joining the Group Fast on FC tomorrow, so I decided to break over the weekend to make each event a separate entity!

I keep trying not to get excited that our bid was accepted on the farm house. Too many things and obstacles still stand between us and ownership! BUT, I am hopeful, and I am grateful, and with a little luck, there we will be!

Happy Sunday!

NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER ever ever BANK AT FIFTH THIRD

Fifth Third Bank, aka 5/3 Bank, is the worst bank in the entire universe.

I hope this is clear enough for everyone.

American Gothic, take two

With a little luck, this will be our home in less than 6 weeks.

We are waiting to hear if they will sell us 10 acres or not, including a lot that is already water and electric ready (for the little horse barn.

Keeping fingers crossed!

Busy busy days

I just love this picture. It's titled "Winter Solstice". I have no idea what it has to do with my blog, but I thought I would post it as a distraction from the fact I haven't posted almost two weeks. Oops.

In the past two weeks, I have spent 4 days in Houston, had a sinus infection upon my return, and did a 12-hour driveathon to house hunt. And my parents kindly joined me since Husband couldn't . . . it was their 49th anniversary, too!

I have also lost 32 pounds since March. I am pretty happy! Only a few thousand more to go - ugh.

So, I will post when I have something more exciting. Right now, a detailed list of what I have to accomplish before moving just seems so banal.

Enjoy today's stolen diet tip!

There is a reason why people are acting in their music - listen to external suggestions takes your mind away from physical activity. This is the secret of “the pursuit of the time” fly. If your organization is focused on what you’re doing, the session will be from that day appears. The purchase of a portable music player, or you can lie directly on a TV.

Yeah, there's a thought. If I were thin enough to lay on our flat screen without breaking it, I don't know if I would need these diet tips. Just a thought.

A decision

I don't know if you are familiar with the fast that Mia Farrow and other international celebrities are doing to bring attention to Darfur. The public is also able to join, and I have. fastdarfur.org

Starting May 12th, Tuesday, I will be fasting for 20 days. The choice is to water fast, or to live on refugee camp caloric intake (1400 calories ~ the diet is on the site). I have chosen water. I may do a Master Cleanse fast for a portion. I am a firm believer in water fasting, but I have been reading up on MCF, and it kind of makes sense. My hope is to stick with water, and use MC as a backup plan. Wish me luck!

We are out of town for a few days starting early Friday morning. I will try to blog tomorrow, but who knows!

My Tuesday Moanin'

I post to several blogs. One comment I made to someone's post today was as follows:

Shannon: There is nothing more banal and irritating than when people refer to one another as "sheep" or "sheeple". To do so diminishes any intelligent thing you may have to say following it (or preceding, as the case may be). I personally take the stand that we can all believe what we want to, and insulting someone to get your point across does NOTHING except make them turn a deaf ear. Do you think it's easy, being a vegetarian for 30 years? It's called speak your truth as you know it, leave the slings and arrows at home, and lead by example, not insult.

It gets on my nerves!

Oh, and there is a growing movement blaming Hiney Flu on the meat industry. Big surprise! Most of our illnesses these days (Swine Flu, e coli, bird flu, mad cow) are all due to the meat industry. What's the answer?? You guessed it. I don't even have to finish my sentence.

Oh, and your daily DIET TIP! (What the HELL does this even MEAN?) Brought to you by the people who plagiarized my blog:

Cover your desktop. On the first, some of my friends complex tables help chart progress. Uh, no - not for me, I’m the type of guy, the simple pleasure of the road. As such, I cleaned the best tool for the office and remind CalorieKing. They are not the easiest to use. Believe me, it’s one that I understand everything you eat and move on (without complications). While statistics CalorieKing-addicts will be delighted by its thoroughness, the benefit is not really with the Geeks in the eye. The CalorieKing website and service is good in itself, but downloading the client, it is what we want to achieve. Payment of the filing fee, the man - like many of the value of health for you?

Today's stolen DIET TIP, plus some musings

It's amazing how Facebook can bring back memories. Some good, some bad. Let's face it - when you get to be my age, connecting with others is awesome, until you realize how many years it's been since you have last seen that person. Sigh. The burden of years.

We put in a bid on a house yesterday. I haven't officially announced it to family or friends yet, except on here, because we don't know what will happen. It is NOT one of the ones I photographed Easter weekend (see FB), but instead one we loved but figured was a bit out of our price range. Our agent told the selling agent that it was WAY overpriced. Then called us yesterday to bid. It's amazing, truly. And on almost 11 acres with a 3 car garage and two stall horse barn. Sigh. The burden of wanting.

Here's another lovely dieting tip from the website that stole my blog! Enjoy~

Happy you diet day!

If you pills, normal (eg, multivitamin and essential fatty acids). Attention exaggeration, though - especially with medicinal plants. Too much of anything is a bad thing. You can use food scientists, but increasingly on its own to buy - and maintain this involvement to a minimum. Also note that not specifically with vitamins and minerals.

Knowing that my work has been plagiarized

For the next few days, I will be posting tips on losing weight. They come from a secret source, supposed to be American, but really poor Chinese translations.

If truth be told, this is one of the websites that was stealing my blog information for their search engine results, so . . . tit for tat!

Enjoy!

Tip on how to Loose Weight (sic)

Good fiber. If you lose the fat, you probably constipation. Yes, it often happens that we do it (or action). You need a good proportion of all days, and in any case. The fiber is very important for your health (and their weight loss goals).

So, take your Metamucil - their suggestion.

Happy day to you for diet!

(Much like their picture made no sense for the website, I will do the same for my blog. Enjoy this picture of Joey and Allie playing, "You Grab My Ear, I Grab Yours. EVERYBODY SPIN!". I'm secretly glad they are napping right now.)

Yes, a third

I just thought of something else. Now that I have this blog, whenever I Google or Ask.com myself for any reason, I find that diet and exercise websites are using a portion of my blog as a result for their search engine. Huh? Can that be LEGAL?

Oh, all hail the unlicensed, uncensored internet!

Two, two, two posts in one! (Day)

Incidentally, on my list of things I can't do right from the 21st, I have done the following right:

1. Gotten my puppy (and I am convinced I saved her life)
2. Gotten the turtle tanks clear (It's amazing what thoroughly cleaning a filter will do! Now I have to do the same for the fish/snail tank!)
3. Posted to my blog - I am trying at least 3 x per week
4. Not bought wheat products (except for the WW sub rolls for dinner last night)
5. And today I get the house clean & packed - our agent is coming tomorrow. Husband actually had time to help with a few lift & carry projects last night!

Let's hope it stops raining. Life is so much happier around here when the dog(-s) can go to the park.

Incidentally, you know that sound, like a whirring noise, the disc drive makes when you first put a CD or DVD in? That's kind of how Joey's breathing sounds right now. She is sleeping, but has already had a full hour of playing in . . . Husband especially loved when she stole his undershirt from the bathroom and ran with it.

This is not my husband, but it's fun to pretend :)

I know, I haven't written in days!

But, Allie and I have been a little busy - with Joey!

Oh, Joey is a handful, but a delight. She LOVES to charge the kitties, barking. Especially Philip, but he eggs her on. Jynx swatted at her day one, but got no reaction because of how long and wiry Joey's fur is. So, Joey is now an enigma to Jynx . . .

"What, no fear? Allie is paralyzed with fear at one glance from me! But you - you BARK at me?" Jynx definitely has a Bastet-complex (she thinks she is a goddess and should be obeyed).

We found out the reason for Joey's cough - she has pneumonia so badly that one lobe of her lung is nearly full of fluid. I am sure Noah had the same thing, my poor Lost Boy. But, we have a great vet who sees Joey should not be put down but is worth fighting for. Allie and I (and Husband), agree. So, I give her two antibiotics rolled in crunchy peanut butter, and a teaspoon of honey with 135 mg of Echinacea mixed in. It's the herbalist in me! Dr. Jaax said that it can only help.

That's one thing we don't have to worry about with her. Unlike Allie, Joey will eat anything. It was tough this morning, getting her to go potty instead of playing with Posse (the possum) who was eating happily on the deck. Joey ran out to eat the Outside Kitty (OK) food, and got Posse backed into a corner, wanting to play. Poor Posse thought it was over and she was going to die. Have you ever heard a possum cry? It's faint and gentle, like a puppy whine. It broke my heart. I will have to start timing doggy potty time a little better.

It's a girl! And I'm so smrt. I mean SMART.

Today, I figured out how to get to Texico, IL AND how to put up mutiple pics! AND, what a lovely thing to put up a pic of! (Incidentally, you click the link which says "Add another picture". Tough stuff)

This is our new baby. She was quite hungry, as you can see. And Steven was quite curious! An eventful day, but exhausting. I am going to bed to cuddle my new baby! Husband will be so happy!

Often me

I have to meet Mike Zulu one day and thank him for this image. This is how I feel most days lately. Ugh. It's like perma-PMS.

I am so incredibly stressed by the thought of money and moving, it's enough to make one crabby. I TRY not to be stressed, mind you, but that's kind of like asking the sun not to shine.

I will keep plodding along. I will work it out. In the long run, all of this makes sense.

Now, to clean the entire house before the real estate agent comes for the appraisal tonight. Yes, we are going to have that "My House is Worth What?" eye shifting moment. Husband SWEARS he is going to do that to me!

International Affairs

Tonight, our friends from Kuwait had a fabulous sendoff dinner for my husband and me (although now we are FORCING ourselves to get together at least once more!).

There was so much love and diversity in the room. In addition to Fawzeyah and her husband, Mohammed, there was a couple from the Netherlands (Suus and Jop), a young lady from Turkey (Zana? I am not sure how to spell it), my African-American/black (she prefers black) next door neighbor Courtney & her children - Micah and Justin, who happens to be in the same kindergarten class as Maryam - (Fawz's oldest), and there were also three NINJAS! Oh, they looked like little girls, but Momma says they are Ninja, ranging from age 2 to age 6!

Jop looked precious eating on the floor with his fingers, something he'd never done before incidentally. Husband, Tim, ate with a fork - for most of the meal! And Courtney was in Rice Heaven as the base for three dishes was the grain of her dreams. She also fell in love with a certain cookie, but I digress . . . Suus may never get the yellow from the curried rice off of her fingers after helping the youngest Ninja, Maria, to eat. :)

Oh, goodness me, how could I forget! There were several ghosts, too, which looked suspiciously like children under comforters and miscellaneous blankets. And everyone was "frightened" as the ghost of a giant caterpillar, with the funniest set of legs EVER, also crawled into the room. Even 12-year-old Micah got in on that one!

The food was delicious, the beverages divine (try lemonade with chopped mint sometime! and I LOVE Kuwaiti coffee!), and the company was superb. The girls, I mean NINJAS, hugged and kissed us all the way to the elevator. Good times and great memories.

Thanks, guys! I say "guys" because Mohammed claims he cooked it all - wink - we all know it was the Ninjas - hahaha

(BTW - the above pic is Jop, Suus, and Fawzeyah from about 2 years ago. Sorry, Courtney - I couldn't find a good one of you!)

Superfoods Ponus! (That's a bonus post)

I found this very interesting. This is the list of the best Superfoods, according to the American Diabetes Association (as adapted by e-diet writer Melissa Breyer. Look, Ma! No plagiarism!)

1. Beans. Whether you prefer kidney, pinto, navy or black beans, you can’t find more nutritious foods than beans. Their high fiber content gives you nearly one-third of your daily requirement in just 1/2 cup. Beans are also are good sources of magnesium and potassium, important nutrients for people with diabetes. Although they are considered starchy vegetables, a 1/2 cup provides as much protein as an ounce of meat without the saturated fat.

2. Dark green leafy vegetables. These powerhouse foods such as spinach, collards, and kale are so low in calories and carbohydrates, you can eat as much as you want.

3. Citrus fruit. Grapefruit, oranges, lemons and limes provide part of your daily dose of soluble fiber–important for heart health–and vitamin C.

4. Sweet potatoes. This starchy vegetable is packed full of fiber and vitamin A (as carotenoids)–important for vision health. Try these in place of regular potatoes for a lower GI alternative.

5. Berries. Blueberries, strawberries and other varieties are packed with antioxidants, vitamins and fiber. Make a parfait alternating the fruit with light, non-fat yogurt for a new favorite dessert.

6. Tomatoes. Everyone can find a favorite with this old standby. No matter how you like your tomatoes–pureed, raw, or in a sauce–you’re eating vital nutrients like vitamin C, iron, and vitamin E.

7. Fish with omega-3s. Salmon, albacore tuna, mackerel, halibut, and herring are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which are important for heart health. Stay away from the breaded and deep fried fish. They don’t count toward your goal of 6-9 ounces of fish per week.

8. Whole grains. These grains, such as pearled barley and oatmeal, are loaded with fiber, potassium, magnesium, chromium, omega-3 fatty acids and folate. The germ and bran of the whole grain contain the important nutrients a grain product has to offer. Processed grains, like bread made from enriched wheat flour, do not have these vital nutrients.

9. Nuts. An ounce of nuts can go a long way in providing key healthy fats along with hunger management. Nuts also give you a dose of magnesium and fiber. Some nuts and seeds, such as walnuts and flax seeds, also contain omega-3 fatty acids.

10. Fat-free milk and yogurt. Everyone knows dairy can help build strong bones and teeth. In addition to calcium, many fortified dairy products are a good source of vitamin D. More research is emerging on the connection between vitamin D and good health.

( I don't know about #10, only because seriously . . . dairy is meant to turn a 40 lb calf into a 300 lb cow and not really great for us. We are the only animal on the planet which drinks another animal's lactation!)

I missed a day. And Plagiarism. Yeah, Plagiarism.

I just realized I missed two days. Sorry!

My male turtle, Baruch, has OCD (or autism). Look at what he keeps doing in the back of his tank. I keep messing the rocks up to clean between them, and he keeps rearranging them this way. Wouldn't I LOVE to let him loose on all of the work I need to do around here! (Also, click on the pic so it becomes really large - you will notice he is glaring at me. I think he was afraid I was coming to mess up his rocks again. I can just hear him, "Oy, vay! I straighten and straighten, and for what? So you can come in and mess it up again? Don't call ME crazy, Meshugana!") Crabby old Jewish turtle. He reminds me of a friend I know . . .

This morning, my lungs feel about to explode. I have been working in dusty areas - packing - and have exacerbated the asthma I've contracted since moving to Cinci, I am having a lot of trouble breathing today. It's supposed to be near 80, so I certainly hope my lungs are ready for a dog walk later, or Goggie Girl will be inconsolable!

So, it's interesting. I love Facebook. Love keeping in touch, or reconnecting. Love sharing pictures and memories. Love discussing and debating. Love finding out what others have been up to since high school. HOWEVER, all this love has a downside. Nostalgia and feeling old.

I look back at how long it has been since I have seen a lot of these people, and suddenly I am overwhelmed by the sheer volume of years that have passed. All the water under all the bridges. It's a love/hate thing.

I had to laugh the other day. Secretly, because I had to pretend I was mad. I did a Google search of myself (for various reasons), and a website for some diet drug was using part of my blog as a piece of their search engine results. I nearly fell over! I thought it quite humorous - plagiarism or not.

It's interesting, though. I found out from a University librarian (the one who does intro classes to available resources in the library) that in many cultures, plagiarism is not only 100% acceptable, it's expected. Most of these countries - like China - don't have a strong sense of self, I guess. And this website was located in China. I also know a couple of Chinese grad students at UC who were unable to explain further when you asked questions about parts of their presentations. Now I understand why: Either it wasn't their own work and they didn't know, or (as I then assumed), it was the language barrier.

But, plagiarism in education aside, I am sure you all know how much I hate when people are not original. I admit I don't always use my pictures, but I give credit (or you can see the website it's from in the border), and it's because of how random my thoughts are. And all my text, other than credited lyrics, is original, too. Imagine how I feel, then, when on a site I am supposed to be in the "core group" on, there is a plagiarist who will stop at nothing to get herself noticed. I see so much of what I, or others, have written. I swear to GOD she is only posting to see her post-tracking numbers go up. Otherwise, why post if you have nothing to say about the issue? Or, all that you say is from everyone else and not original? It irritates the hell out of me.

I will strongly feel this 'til the day I die:

"It is far better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."

Herman Melville

Wheat and other considerations

I did probably the stupidest thing I can think of. I bought whole grain bagels last night. And cream cheese. Then ate 2 this morning. After the issues I have been having with wheat lately!

But, they sure came in handy as a quick breakfast for Husband this morning when we got up 2 hours late. His pager beeped at 6:30 - oh, boy (in the words of Bakula). He's supposed to be in at 6:00. First time EVER in his time there. BUT, it was my fault. We lost power yesterday and when I set the alarm, I set it for PM and not AM.

It seems I can't do anything right lately!

Other things I can't do right:

1. Get my new puppy: It seems she woke up this morning and still had a LITTLE cough left. No vetting for her today. Maybe next week. That's what foster mom said last week, and the week before . . .
2. Fast: I have been trying to do a 4 week fast now for the past 5 weeks. It seems life keeps intervening. I know how well I feel on a fast, but it seems emotional stressors keep coming up, or social obligations requiring food. It's all so overwhelming.
3. Find some income: My dear friend got me a list of some at-home legit jobs. How can one really work a full-time job outside the home with a move pending?
4. Clean and pack my house: One thing after another. I took yesterday off from the world because of a former neighbor being an idiot. And an assortment of things. Like the excruciating pain that feels like a heart attack when I exert myself. My heart is supposed to be in excellent shape, according to the $3000 Doppler I had done last year at this time.
5. Get the turtle tanks clear: They are swimming in murk. I messed up the good bacteria a few months ago and can't get it right.
6. Post on this blog: I can't get the font back to the right color. So, I made up a new color scheme.

So, these are the highlights, if that is what you can call them. It reminded me of the old Styx song:

The headlines read,
"These are the worst of times."
I do believe it's true.

I feel so helpless
like a boat against the tide.

I wish the summer wind
could bring back Paradise.

But I know,
if the world turned upside down.
Baby I know.
You'd always be around.


It seems there is one thing I can't mess up: my marriage. I'm pretty lucky.

(Dear Pump Deli - thank you for the use of your picture today.)

Random things about ME - allergy alert

It's true, what they say. You can develop allergies as you get older.

Interestingly, I used to only be allergic to GREEN peppers.

See, peppers are in the same family as Deadly Nightshade (look inside at the curling edges sometimes - then look at Nightshade). Green peppers are red peppers which are not ripened. Literally - green. Like a baby Rattler, the toxin level from being a Nightshade is higher in green peppers than red ones. I thought they were just a trigger food for my gallbladder. Then I had that out. And they still make me violently ill. I have always been able to eat the other colors, like red, yellow, purple, and orange.

Last night, I made chicken fajitas for Husband using red pepper. I ate a whole wheat tortilla with about a half cup of the pepper and onions. I immediately had this feeling of being very "full". Two hours later, I was so violently ill the room was spinning. And all I could taste were the peppers.

Other foods I have had reactions to lately: pizza, white bread products (like pizza crust), and cheese. Ugh! Life is so hard sometimes.

And, other allergies I have include mold (why I am so destitute down here in Mold City), petroleum products (darn! Can't wear nylons!), Aloe Vera - we're talking MAJOR hives, and cats. Yes, cats. But at the highest scratchtest level, I had the mildest detectable reaction to cats. It's not a major allergy, and it is no doubt exacerbated by the mold level in the putrid air down here.

Ahhhhh, can't wait for my own Green Acres! Goodbye, city life!

Ah, Prudence

Yes, the old Jags do corner beautifully. Prudence, my 1988 XJS, has a few quirks, though.

True to the late 80s models, she has some electrical issues. Right now, both windows on the passenger side are not closing. Great. I will have to point that side AWAY from the rain tomorrow night.

Go figure.

Well, a family meeting was held last night. Concensus won. We are waiting for Jovanna (Joey). I thought Makeena absolutely precious, but somehow it didn't seem fair that we were already waiting for Joey to get over her cold. Would it be right that we give up on her because she has the sniffles?

I have had a rough day. It dawned on me yesterday that I am out about $48,000 with my condo. Luckily, I can claim that on my taxes the year I sell it, provided I change it to a real rental property. But, it doesn't belie the fact that I still am out the money. Sigh.

Thank you, commentors & emailers!

I got several comments on FB and a few emails about the doggie dilemma. I will make the decision tomorrow, but Makeena is looking pretty good about now!

I took a fun quiz . . . on espin.com

How Will You Die?

Result: Peacefully In Your Sleep
You're smart, you're healthy and you don't let anger or stress get the best of you. But even the best of us gotta go sometime.Wanna die in a more adventurous way? We recommend taking up one (or all) of the following hobbies: glass eating, chemical mixing, hijacking, or poking grizzly bears with sticks and calling them "jerkface."

Now what to do?

Foster mommy of my Lost Boy, Noah, has his two sisters left, Makeena (l) and Jovanna (r). Jojo has a cold and can't be vetted yet. Mickey has everything done and was going to a home, but the lady never called, never came, and has not returned emails.

So, the dilemma continues.

Tim and I both agree that we feel an obligation to Noah to take one of his sisters. It means twice the adoption fee over where we got Allie (and they have a darling English Coonhound right now! http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=13162612), and the potential for the alleged neurological damage (which I will attest to my dying day was a reaction to the medication). Jovanna (Jojo)was the first one Foster Mommy mentioned to me, but I feel bad for Makeena (Mickey). I am now taking emails and comments. What should I do for these babies? We can't take both - so who to pick? Or do I throw Allie in the car and go there, letting her choose? The upside is Mickey looks a little smaller - a bonus for Tim . . .

Tortoise alert

Anyone ever seen one of these guys before??

In memory of Noah

The countdown for Noah is over. Saturday, Monika (his foster mommy), went out to feed him and found he was stumbling and kept lying down. She took him immediately to the vet and found he had a neurological disorder. He had to be put to sleep.

I know he wasn't mine yet, but I can't help but feel like a part of the family is missing already. He will always hold a place in my heart. It doesn't seem fair.

It's probably the grimmest reminder one can have that life often doesn't work out as we hoped or planned.

Another dream blog

Last night's dream was strange, too. There was a group of us (I think my nieces and nephew were in the mix), and some old vehicles that were somewhat outside, somewhat inside. I was trying to get one started. Everyone gathered around, trying to help. I bent down to look under it, and there was a HUGE HUGE snake - Anaconda-ish. It was all coiled up, but started to slither out under the back away from me put after the group. Everyone ran in the bulding, which was like a big old school. The snake had a rattler's tail, and I grabbed that to keep it from getting everyone, and kind of yanked it to make it stop. I had to run past it to get to the door, too, about 40 feet away, and it turned into a man. Just as I got through the doors. Everyone else was huddled down the darkened end of the hall, and I was trying to slam these wooden doors shut and hook them, but obviously now he was pushing against them, grabbing through them, and making hooking the doors closed a chore. The snakeman looked a little like a younger Anthony Hopkins and an older Ernest Borgnine - mixed - and I could smell this sulfurous smell. Satan? Is that YOU? It woke me up. I had been thinking of The Bible last night. I had watched a little of a show on Mary Magdalene.

We go up to Michigan today, so no blogging until Monday. Househunting tomorrow. Wish us luck! Happy Easter, aka the Feast Day of the Roman Goddess Eostere.

Countdown to Noah: Four days, ten hours! ( I moved it to Tuesday)

So, I had this dream

The night before last. It had nothing to do with Martin Luther King. I thought of making perfumes based on professions or careers. For example, Mail Carrier would be a light, sporty, crisp scent; Lumberjack would smell of open air and pine forests; Chef would be warm and comforting, and a little spicy. What the hell would Farmer smell like?

As usual, my hands and feet have been freezing. FREEZING! Fasting always brings on dreams which are more vivid than usual for me. Last night, I dreamt I was reptilian, and THAT was why my appendages would freeze one minute, then warm up when I crawled into a warm bed. It was like an old Ray Bradbury short story where I didn't even realize I had made the transition to lizard.

The Power that is

Okay, I don't mean to get all New-Agey on you, but I strongly feel the Universe provides. Be it God, gods, Goddess, Great Spirit - whatever form or name you give to the Power that Created and Protects us all.

As you know, we want Noah. Badly. As you also know, I am not working right now because of the move, so money is a little tight. Coming up with his $400 adoption fee was going to make things even tighter. I tried to set that aside and not worry about it. I just FEEL in my heart that he is meant to live with us.

I just got a letter my mortgage company today.

It was a refund of my overpaid escrow.

The amount?

Yes.

$411.82

I am streaming tears of gratitude as I write this.

Thank you. If it is a gift from whom I think, you ARE still there for me, aren't you?

What is "Countdown to Noah"?

Simply stated, it is the ticking off of hours until Noah becomes part of the family. He is half Old English Sheepdog, half Great Pyrenees. Allie and I look forward to his arrival joyously. Husband is pretty excited, too. Allie and Husband will be grateful for the company. I, on the other hand, will be grateful for the help when I put him to work on the farm . . .

Him's gonna be a BIG liddle brudder, as Allie would say.

Part of me worries I will lose the tightknit bond I have with Allie. Part of me is excited to see that she will be fulfilled as a dog. I think she will need a sibling if we get the farm we anticipate. There probably will not be the opportunity for her to go to a park and interact as there is here. I think Husband and I are both in agreement that this is the humane thing to do. Plus, Noah really is a work dog. He will need this.

Countdown to Noah: Seven days, 9 hours

Here comes your 19th nervous breakdown

Not really. Just thought it a clever title!

I had a brief hiaitus, but I realize I had a lot going on the past week. Don't ask me what, but it seems as if I were busy every moment of every day. I think the mainstay was the laundry - mind you, there was a ton. I have been going through clothing, anticipating the move, and getting rid of all that I considered unworthy. But, you see, I am the type that washes it all before Goodwill. Weird, I know, but I wouldn't want someone thinking I am a slob. (MAN, it's hard to say that with a straight face. I can't think what's funnier - me caring what others think, or me NOT being a slob!)

The holiday is fast approaching. Lent is soon at an end. I have been embroiled in an endless battle with myself and my fasting. It seems like everytime I would get in a true roll with it, a social obligation or other necessity would arise and I would need to intake. So, the fasting website, of which I am now a member of the Core Group, has a monthly Group Fast starting the first Monday of each month. It's a time for me to start anew.

The above picture was taken a few years ago in our sedum bed. We have 5 different varieties in a narrow strip of earth between our driveway wall and the sidewalk to the back. (I LOVE sedum! And it's going with me, too!)It's the only green, besides the yuccas, on that side of our world.

Countdown to Noah: 9 days, 10 hours

It's the word of the day again. Serendipity!

Allie and I went to the park today. Ambling along, I nearly cut the walk short. I decided instead to follow my heart . . . it was a gorgeous day, and I was staying one step ahead of the little woodpecker I love to watch. He flitted from tree to tree, thumping away, and I just kind of strolled along.

We get to a bend in the trail. Up ahead, a Doberman. I'm always a little pensive about Allie's "enthusiasm" for play. I worry others may consider her b-noxious (it's obnoxious with the emphasis on the second syllable). But, true to Allie's nature, they met and fell in love. His name is Vaughn. His pint-sized owner, approximately four, was walking on the rocks in the creek. His my-size owner and I started to chat. Somehow, the move came up. Ironically, Guy is a real estate agent and knows the area very well. Guy Adams - sounds like a stage name. We have his card now!

Allie and I walked past what I call Turtle Town, and sat for a minute on the bench at the end of the creek trail. I considered walking back the way we came, which would require a steep hill to get back to the car. Nixed that. My breathing is not great (Chaa!), so we went up the steps to the gentler, albeit longer, slope at the end of the park.

Imagine my shock and surprise when I looked up, and at the top of the next rise, was the face of a White Great Pyr! The big old teddy bear! I was so surprised I nearly cried! I know we are meant to have Noah!

Allie played for about 2o minutes with Keely, the GP, and his two friends, Jeans and Katy. I chatted with the owners. Keely's owner, Trish, was nearly in tears . . . come to find out, they had just lost an FCR mix! Trish fell in love with Allie. Keely and Allie fell in love. Debbie, the other owner, and I started to chat. SOMEHOW, I seriously don't know, turtles came up. SHE IS THE VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR FOR THE TURTLES DOWN AT THE CINCINNATI ZOO! And, if you can believe it, she used to have A TURTLE RESCUE! Up to 80 in her house at one time. She laughed, lovingly and knowingly, when I told her of Sara's travails. I tell you, the planets are aligned in mysterious ways today. So, not only do I have someone to ask about operating and founding a NPO, I have someone to ask about the turtles! AND, she just got to hold the new Galapagos babies. (Tim and I are planning a trip to the Galapagos and Easter Islands for our 5th anniversary.

So, the three of us have made plans to walk together often. Debbie saved my number, and I look forward to the company. I cannot believe how I was meant to be in both of those places at once - one to find a real estate agent, one to give comfort for a fallen friend AND to see what we are up against with our new Baby.

What a day. Serendipity. How amazing is this world?

Speaking of amazing. Top 10 places of mystery which I want to see before I die:

1. Stonehenge (done)
   
2. Kalaupapa on Moloka'i (done)


3. The Mystery Spot in the UP of MI (done - hahaha)


4. The Great Pyramid of Giza and associated wonders


5. The Galapagos Islands (planned for 2012)


6. Easter Island (planned for 2012)


7. The Taj Mahal


8. The Coliseum in Rome


9. Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa or the Paris Underground Tunnels


10. And toss up: Machu Picchu (or just about any temple in the area), Jerusalem - especially the old, old city underground, and Bali

Mind you, this is only the beginning of a very huge list.

I'm a new grandma!

Did you ever see a young girl, much too chubby for the pants she is wearing? An immense muffin top, if you will, spilling over the waistband? Imagine if you lived in a hard shell, and had four of these inside with you! I can imagine it would feel about the same.

After many days and 10 hours of trying, I finally got the combination right: Sara laid her eggs. Four of them. They were not fertile, of course, but MAN were they huge! Seriously, this was about the size of my thumb. She is about 7 inches long. No wonder she was so restless!

Oh, happy day!

So, I once again become the 1950s happy housewife today! Today is the first official day of "not working" as last week was spring break. Technically.

Lots of laundry. Lots. It seems to breed like rabbits when I am not looking. On any given day, though, Husband wears at least three or four outfits: dressy dressy, scrubs, post-workday jeans (if he gets home early enough), and sleepy pants/top. I keep trying to convince him he can combine the last two. Be like me - no obligations this evening? It's JAMMY TIME!. No avail. As for me, an outfit every three or four days, with a dog park ensemble, is about apropo.

But, speaking of working, Husband's new boss knows presidents of both colleges in Saginaw and asked me if I wanted a referral. Just for the halibut, I checked Delta's website. They are hiring both a tenure track (not at this point in my life) and adjuncts. Yeah, I think I might.

Clothing folder needed. Apply to my comment section.

It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw

Well, if you are ever in the Saginaw area and need a general surgeon - oh, happy day! It may be my husband.

He has been offered and has accepted a position with a private group there. We are pleased as all you-know-what that the hunt is over.

But, speaking of Simon & Garfunkel and hitchhiking, we stopped in Ann Arbor to visit friends on our way home. Returning to I23 via I94, there was a hitchhiker on the west bound portion of I94! Now, I have not seen a hitchhiker in probably 25 years. What was really funny was the fact he had the same luggage I do . . . a raspberry-colored ROLLER BAG! Wow, gone are the days of duffle bags and Mrs. Wagner's pies, eh? We also saw a second hitchhiker on north bound I75 in Ohio. Trout fishing in America? Next thing we know they will be hopping freight trains and pulling out prayer cards. Bunch of Dharma Bums.

But, in all seriousness, Husband and I are still hoping to start the domestic animal rescue. If we do, I will have a pet goat, because I have always wanted one, and a donkey, to help around the farm (saves gas, cuter than a tractor). I told Husband I would name them Simon & Garfunkel. He asked which would be which. I explained the goat would be Simon, and the donkey would be Art, because Garfunkel was an ass for leaving Paul . . .

Incidentally, to all idiots out there, please note: IT IS SPELLED G-A-R-F-U-N-K-E-L not L-E!

*Insert clever title here

Today is gray and rainy. As was yesterday. It's hard to be motivated when it's this blase'. So, I try to make myself laugh. Try. Right now, it's hard to laugh when all you can taste in your mouth is a cream cheese and sprout sandwich on a nice, hearty, TRUE whole grain bread. I don't know WHY this memory of a taste won't go away! I haven't had one in months. It must be the fasting.

In other big news, Tim and I (oh, that's Husband) are going to Michigan for another whirlwind tour tomorrow. He has another look-see at the hospital he is interested in. The second hospital on his list has already been sending offers and letters of intent to us through the recruiters, and DAMN it looks good! But his first choice is even better, I think. It's a much more prudent choice. More fiscally sound. Not as much of a base salary, but the earning potential is greater because he will be paid per procedure.

Still no Sara eggs. After multiple sessions of peek-a-book with me yesterday, I decided to leave her alone for a few hours this morning. No deal. Still gravid. Still clambering to get out of the tank. Still a stinker - she actually peed on me this morning while I was rinsing her off! (You have to realize - she's 8 inches long. Her stream was pretty substantial!)

Interestingly, turtles don't actually "drink" water. The aquatic ones live in it, duh, most of the time, but only intake it when they are eating. Their food has to be in the water because they have no saliva. So, her pee was essentially just expelled water. But it was enough to make me laugh!

Everything you wanted to know about turtles but didn't care enough to ask. This is Dr. Science. Good day!

For one brief, shining moment!

This is your ponus for the day (that's a bonus post. Don't bother - I am already submitting it to the annual NYT contest, and I have more. We literati have to do something with our spare time.)

I have a secret confession. I have been in love with someone for nearly 30 years. Yes, the better part of my life.

Well, the Visa debit cards which Lilli won as part of her costume contest are made out to "a gift for you!" Obviously, they couldn't put a name on it.

The instructions indicated to use them as a charge, and sign as you normally would do. I went Meijer-ing. I bought a bunch of essentials (including this ULTRA COOL agility set for Allie!). When I went to sign for my purchases in the tiny little box on the keypad, for one brief, shining moment all my dreams had come true.

I was Mrs. Bob Geldof. (sigh)

And I can't complain about this one, either . . .

I broke my fast last night. I started immediately afterwards, though. It was Husband's birthday - how could I sit in front of him and not eat? So, I had some seaweed salad (delicious) and some sushi - always a hit - and moved on. It was darn good, though!

Because it's funny!

Sara is a woman now!

(sung to the tune of "Drunken Sailor")

What do you do with a gravid turtle?
What do you do with a gravid turtle?
What do you do with a gravid turtle,
who jumps out of her tank?

Yes, earl-lie in the morning, I heard a crash from the living room. Sara, our female turtle, decided to climb out of her tank and fell about 4 foot to the wooden floor. I found her halfway across the room, scooting her little brains out. She is holding eggs, gravid, and looking for a place to lay. I have given her several options for nesting boxes, to no avail. I even took her outside. She hid under some leaves.

I will keep trying. A friend said to put a board over her tank. She was in her rubbermaid nesting box earlier. I left to go to the bathroom, and came back to see her peeking out - holding the lid and a 15 pound book up with just her head. Turtles!

The fast continues. I have hit a little plateau, but am right on the cusp of pound number thirty-three. I have a waistline again!

Nap, Glorious, Nap!

Oliver totally had it wrong. Food is not glorious - napping is! I haven't slept well since putting Peter down, but this afternoon, sigh, it was pure bliss! Spring break, thank you! It also made my hard part of the day much easier, i.e. my snacking hour.

I am down two more pounds. I can really start to see and feel it!

*Special thanks to Eric for the napping idea.

In the vein of my tipsy ramblings last night . . .

Some favorite entertainment quotes:

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" (John Cusack, opening lines of High Fidelity)

"I would rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human for God's sake." (Holden Caufield, The Catcher in the Rye)

"Sleep tight, ya morons!" (Holden Caufield, The Catcher in the Rye)

"Try to guess what I am now. I'm a zit. Get it?" (John Belushi, Animal House)

[running after Flagg as he flees the house] "Edwin, you forgot your money!" (Bette Davis, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?)

"Shit." (Elliot Gould, upon watching the bridge his troops were supposed to cross and THEN blow up get blown up by the enemy in A Bridge Too Far)

" I don't know if we've got the heir to the Thorn millions here or Jesus Christ Himself. " (British photographer Keith Jennings, The Omen)

"Call me Ishmael." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick)

Arthur: Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take a bath.
Hobson: I'll alert the media.
Arthur: Do you want to run my bath for me?
Hobson: It's what I live for. [Arthur exits]
Hobson: Perhaps you would like me to wash your dick for you, too, you little shit.
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Arthur: Oh, stay with me, Hobson. You know I hate to be alone.
Hobson: Yes, bathing is a lonely business.
Arthur: Except for fish.
Hobson: Pardon? Did you say "except for fish"?
Arthur: Yes... fish all bathe together. Though they do tend to eat one another. I often think fish must get awfully tired of sea food. What are you thoughts, Hobson?

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Arthur: Hobson, do you know what the worst thing is about being me?
Hobson: I should imagine your breath. (Dudley Moore and Sir John Gielguid, Arthur)

"Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature. " (Sir John Gielguid, Arthur)

"Yes... You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness. " (Sir John Gielguid, Arthur)

"Not all of us who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we're not poets." (Dudley Moore , Arthur)

I just realized, I could spend months on this post. Better to let it simmer.

Top Five Debut Albums of All Time

1. look sharp, joe jackson

2. the boomtown rats, the boomtown rats

3. the pretenders, the pretenders

4. my aim is true, elvis costello

5. peter gabriel, peter gabriel

Bad cover bands and true freedom of expression

Sometimes, having a husband 12 years younger is a bit of a chore. Sometimes.

Minor in music or not, he is still sometimes a product of his era - an era of bad cover bands and Led Zeppelin-ania.

I'm an old punk rocker. I go way back with the likes of Patti Smith and Joe Jackson. Bob Geldof will always be one of my heroes, and Peter Gabriel will always be wearing makeup, in my mind. Don't get me started.

So, imagine my shock, surprise, sadness, (insert other S word here), when Husband announced he thought 10,000 Maniacs' version of "Because the Night" is better than Patti Smith's. Huh? WHO WROTE IT? Can you really sing something soulfully if it's not your own?

Seriously, that's like saying Whitless Houston's howling rendition of "I Will Always Love Youhoohohohohohou" is better than Dolly Parton's, or Cyndi Lauper's "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" is better than Otis'.

Led Zeppelin was burnout music when I was in school. Husband's generation tried to venerate them.

Get real. Husbands - bah! Might as well be walkin' on the sun.

The daily post (or, DAMN YOU, ROTEL, and your dancing peppers!!)

So, I have found that emotions still do have the best of my eating. I think we are all prone to it at times, and fasts are exercises in that self-control necessary to overcome.

As you can see from the previous post, last night was not so great. I just felt so empty so suddenly. So, I broke my fast. I have had some decent control all week, but that was the end. Seriously, I got very ill (too fast, not right food), but I got right back on it today, or at least I will once I finish some Rotel/Velveeta dip with multigrain, low salt chips. I have two fasting friends joining me on Monday, but I am not putting off the return. I have begun again.

And, no, mine did not have amphibians on the edge of the bowl. I stole this pic from kidscuisine.com. I also didn't sleep last night. I hope I am coherent.

May furry angels guide you

After much heartache and deliberation, Husband & I decided we would put Peter to sleep. He had FeLeuk, but we also think he had a brain tumor. He was an outside cat, but didn't care that he was in a dog crate inside. He would periodically have a tremor - almost like a seizure. He lived in the litter box the past few days - something no cat would ever do - and we think he was partially blind. He couldn't recognize me until he sniffed me with what little airway he had left, then began to purr. His respiration was so poor he could hardly breathe. He was three, and we believe him to be Philip's brother.

This is him pre-injection, wrapped in a blanket. I know Dr. Jaax is a good vet - she cried as hard as I did.

Serendipity

I just love that word. And I love its origin:

In a letter of January 28, 1754, (author Horace) Walpole says that
"this discovery, indeed, is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity, a very expressive word." Walpole formed the word on an old name for Sri Lanka, Serendip. He explained that this name was part of the title of "a silly fairy tale, called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highnesses traveled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of...."

It makes me wonder what life would be like it if were not for serendipity. Thanks, Horace!

And to contribute to serendipity - today is the day he died (not really, but I thought it would be fun to say. He actually died 2 March 1797 - a very good year indeed.

Two more pounds gone. Yeah, it's official.